I've always had a little bit of "another world" in my mind. Today I posted that this site was the "window" that God opened for me when he shut the door at Kimkins.
so... in my imagination of a mind... here I am curled up on my "bench" in the window , getting cozy and writing... this is going to be a comfortable spot to sort thru my thoughts and my feelings.

I admit, I am emotionally exhausted right now.. and overwhelmed with feelings that range from deep sorrow, regret, anger, humiliation, and pain to major relief, compassion, and even the feeling that I have somehow been blessed in the midst of turmoil.

I am still confused about what my WOE will become... but for now, I really can't worry about that yet!

I will remain satisfied with my external appearances for now, and take some time to "refuel" my INNER being before continuing on with the "low carb" life. I know in my heart ... that I always gave God the credit for my success in losing my weight.. so that helps my "moving on" become a little easier. Kimkins wasn't the whole reason for my losses... I've always said it had more to do with the healing and emotional learning I did along the way.. and that hasn't changed. I can continue to let God do the work in me... and teach me healthy ways to eat and to live.


So.... here I am.... curled up on my window seat... ready to just take some time to bask in the warmth of the sun and watch the butterflies dance around the flowers outside.

Thanks again Jimmy....

Sounds like a lovely view, and a peaceful place to be.

Yep... but I'm still comin to the campfire later!!!

Good! See you there!

Glad you'll be at the campfire.. I'm bringing more cheesecake!

mmmm ... I think cheesecake sounds good while just sittin' here in the window! Got strawberries to go with it?

hey Sparky.. I graduated from NYIP in 2002! good luck and have fun!

Here's my photography sites:

Memories Captured Photography (families/weddings)
Denesia Christine ~ Inspired (nature with scripture)

oh.. and yes... my REAL name is Denesia.. but no one can pronounce it right.. so I've been called Deni since I was born! (actually, my mom saw a movie where Sally Field's name was Deni.. and she mixed it with Anastasia to come up with my name!)

Here ya go.. cheesecake, strawberries and homemade whipped cream, All Low-carb!

Your photos are beautiful! Maybe we can talk shop sometime? I have loads of questions. I'm always having to sneak my lessons in when I have a spare minute since I started home schooling again this year with my kids.

I'm photographing a wedding Saturday and am a little nervous about it.

I LOVE your name.. even if I can't say it! LOL

Deni! I am so glad you are here. I don't know about the window seat...sounds like a great napping place, but I don't think I would get a lot done.

No stress to figure things out here. Just sit quietly and let us goofballs make you laugh again.

BTW - Cute picture. I put mine up to remind me of the good non stress FUN times. I think everyone else caught on quickly. It keeps it crazy.

yeah.. I saw a few "kid" faces and thought that was a great idea!

I'm loving the "no stress" idea! And.. I am always in the market for burning some calories with laughter!!!

Amy- I'll talk shop anytime you want.. but I warn you.. Im old fashioned and still use film!!!
No photoshop stuff here! I use a REAL darkroom!

I'll bring the chocolate for that cheesecake with berries! WOO HOO!

Hi Deni! It's good to have you here. I'm from KK too and so happy that you are ok and relaxing here with us.

Deni, I haven't gotten to the darkroom section yet. The thought scares me. LOL

I have a 35mm Minolta Maxiumm 3000i SLR, but I get really frustrated with it. Most of my shots are taken with my Sony Cybershot DSC-H2. I'm drooling over a Canon 5D.. but I'll have to win the lottery first.

What camera to you use?

Canon EOS 3 professionally...

old Pentax k1000 for fun

Deni, what is "FILM"? LOL. I guess only us amateurs use digital cameras?

I love the idea of your window seat to sit and relax on!

Deni -does it sound like Denny or Deany or ?

Its so good to hear that you are here relaxing without much stress.

Deni is pronounced like Denny... I've heard all the "open all night... all you can eat buffet" jokes in the world.

Denesia - legal name- is prounounced Den (Like the small living room) Asia (like the continent)

A very pretty and unique name - it fits you!

Ooooo - I like "Denesia" - I figured Deni was short for Denise, and I thought it was a cute nickname.

Glad to see you found a new place to hang out. Just chill, you're among friends here, no responsibilities, just a great place to be, and read, and laugh, and do a little learnin' when you feel like it, and sharing when you want to.

I hope you got my email, I couldn't post a comment on your blog due to technical difficulties, and then I was too lame (user error) to figure out how to send a PM here. Kimkins was the only message board I had ever used before, so I'm still kinda new to this whole thing.

A beautiful name for a beautiful woman--inside and out!

kelly,
Yes.. I got your email! Thanks so much. I've been meaning to reply but just never got around to it!
I don't know why people are having trouble commenting on my blog, but you're not the first one to say that!

I was nervous about posting the "dead flies in perfume" verse... but it struck a chord with a few people and "woke" them up so to speak, so I guess it was good that I didn't hold back when the Lord led me there and "highlighted" it for me! (that's a term I use with my kids... when reading the Bible.. we talk about what they read, and I always ask.. "Did God highlight one particular verse in your mind today when you were reading??)
Anyway...back to topic... I'm feeling really comfy here.. and love seeing so many familiar "faces".

No need to reply, I didn't want to give you another task for your "to do" list, I just wanted you to be able to read it. Glad you did.

I like the "highlighted" analogy, I'll have to remember to use that one. It is funny how often you can just open the bible and find a verse that speaks to your situation though. Glad you posted it.

Deni...so nice to see you have been awakened and you are so welcome here. You will find your way again like we all did. Well, cheesecake hea? Mine will have to have the strawberries...only way I like it. lol

Sorry, Jimmy...chocolate and I don't agree, lol.

Oh, I'd die without chocolate.

If chocolate is involved.. I must also have peanutbutter.

Not a big peanut butter fan myself, but I'm sure a homemade Reese's cup could be made if we took the sugar out.

Oh it can be done my friend.. it can be done.

So, can we see Amy's Picture Perfect Hottie Peanut Butter Cup recipe in the recipes section sometime soon, hmmm?

Hi Deni! Personally I have been eating almond butter in my coconut bark. Oh my! When I started this fat thing I went whole hog I love coconut oil!

I did your dead flies post - very eyeopening. Thanks for sharing what was in your heart.

Hi, Deni! You know me, but I'm still working undercover. Let's just say I love your journal.

Try this for a quick fix for a Reese's cup. I dipped a piece of sugarfree Hershey's chocolate in Smuckers' natural peanut butter. It really serves the purpose.

I'm actually doing okay just pretending over here!!!!!

although.. I do dip my 1 spoon of PB into my low carb vanilla yogurts when that craving hits me! Makes that spoonful last longer and the vanilla/pb combination is pretty good!

I can't wait to unveil all my friends someday! Want to send me a clue via PM so I can know who you are???

Wanted to add.. that I'm only pretending about JUNK food!!!!

I still stand by my blogpost about "no more pretending"!
LOL sorry... I re-read my post and thought.. .uh oh.. someone's going to think I'm crazy!!!

Hi Deni,

Is there room for one more on that bench? This is my first post here. I decided if the big three could move on, then so could I. I hope that you find all the peace, joy and happiness that you deserve here.

Jena

Jimmy, I'll see what I can do about that recipe for ya.

Deni,

I thought you would figure out who I am when I mentioned your journal.

***sitting down next to Deni and putting my arm around her****

well sweety... looks like a right nice place ya got here. I love ya girl and I thank God every day for what a special person you are and what a blessing you are in my life.

In the words of this generations venacular....


BFF!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!

Christin

Blue Suede... Gotcha! Nice to see ya! thanks again!!!!!!!!

Good Morning Deni,

I'm hanging with you all here. Check in at Amy's Cooking Low site also, but don't get to everything as often now. Need to settle down somewhere and get to goal.

I'd like your feelings on the following concept I read on one of the "basher" forums:

"But the kicker is you are praised for losing the weight in the forums and in the support. Also, praised in you personal life by friends and family. So you think you are doing something right. Oh the pride."

I am really struggling that this can be wrong. These are things that I know has helped me in this journey. It has been said by others outside of this burhaha that group support is a great thing. I think this concept has been credited to Oprah for one. And why are we here if this is not important in the overall picture.

Anyway, I just glad to be here with friends and not ashamed to say your support is very apreciated and important to me.

Deni I am so happy to see you here and then we get Christin too?? How exciting!

I am a Kimkins member (for now). I miss you guys. You don't know me but I spoke with you maybe once or twice on the Kimkins forums, (I was kimgreen94).

Anyway I have also just registered here and said hi to Becky and now you and I presume we will be seeing a lot more familiar faces show up over here.

Hey Ladybug.

I know it's hard to come to terms with the fact that what we were doing might be wrong... I'm still struggling with it myself...

but I also know that you are right about one thing... it was the support we shared that made the greatest difference. And i don't credit Kimmer or Oprah for that! It goes back much further than them....I credit God... he created us to be relational... he created us to have relationships and to learn from and lean on one another. I am so glad that I finally realized this!!!

There's nothing wrong with needing each other!!!!!!

Hi Kim! Love your doggie!

Wow.. I see a bunch of new people have joined!!! Hooray! this is really starting to feel like home around here.

Hey Deni thanks! They are the loves of my life

I can't believe how many prior Kimkins members there are here. I feel such a sense of peace of over here, its amazing. I think its you and Christin and Becky that are bringing us that peace.
Thank you!

I agree Kim! I'm so happy that Deni, Christin, and Becky are able to continue their ministry to the awesome people who were once "there" and now they're here. We are blessed to have them.

Susan (Osuzana) posted her final farewell. She lasted about 2+ hours before her post vanished. I'm sure she is now banished from the kingdom.

Hi Deni!

I just wanted to say that you were and are inspirational; I loved reading your posts at KK, and this is now my new home...I hope to get to know you better here.

Kim

Hey Deni,
Minimimi here. I want to thank you again for all your help on the KK site. I hope you find what you are looking for. I also hope to stay in touch with you and Christin here, you two were some of what got me as far as I had already (72 lbs in 3 months.) gotten.

Talk to you soon,
Amy

Hey Deni Sweety... how's it goin today? *sigh* such a busy day... just taking a break from yard work and thought I'd come sit a few minutes on the bench...

Amylan! I'm so glad you found us!! Gues you got my email ((HUG)) You'll be great here.

*waving* Hi Kim!! I'm glad you're here too and LADYBUG!!! so good to see you! How's the golf game?

Talk to you guys soon... I guess I'd better go finish in the yard... thanks for the rest!

C

Thanks Christin for the shoutout. I'll tell you all here that I copied my journal today getting ready for whatever. I'm still trying to hang in there because I really want to touch base with DDbythesea. She took a 3 week trip to Italy and should be back by now. Left Aug 23 I think. I don't want to miss getting her here. So if any of you hear from her tell her I miss her. I don't recall that she ever mentioned being on other forums before.

Loving it here. I guess I'm a slow or late bloomer in finding a comfort zone. I was the same way over there, didn't even start my own journal for 4 months. Just fed off everyone else.

All is good with me, maintaining at 143-146#s. Off on a 3 day golf trip in the morning. Weather is beautiful here in Missouri.

Hey, when you talk to DDbythesea.. tell her Hi for me! I've missed her too.. she is a great girl!!!

I wish I could get in touch with EVErYONe on the site that I knew... hmmmm... I'll be back later.. I've got a plan.

They're all welcome to come here, Deni! Hopefully they are lurking and will hop on board soon. I know a bunch who are ready to do it. Take the plunge, ya'll! We love you guys!!!