Hi Everyone

I have discovered that I love to laugh. Might seem simple but it's true.

So, what could be better than losing weight and laughing at the same time?
I've had some success with this, so I want to start it up again.

Here's the Challenge. We take it month by month/ day by day. People who want to join this challenge state a weight loss goal for the month. And contribute a joke, a pleasant thought, a nice comment, or a question. And best of all your successess! It can be weight loss or other successess in your life!

I helps to leave a joke a day, but not important to be apart of this challenge.

If we've heard the joke before, so what. I'd say let's keep the jokes on the clean side, a little racy is okay, but warn us. Obscene jokes....well...save them for another place.

I'll get the ball rolling.... Weight Challenge for this month is ten pounds! Yes. ten!
Now that I've put that out there... here's some funnies.


STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards.

Diets are for people who are THICK and tired of it.

I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.

THE FAST DIET: If you are thin, don't eat fast. If you are fat, don't eat-- FAST!!!

The best way to lose weight is by skipping... skip the desserts... skip the snacks... skip the beer... skip the SKIPPY.

GRAVITY BRINGS ME DOWN.

ONE SHOULD EAT TO LIVE NOT LIVE TO EAT.

THOU SHALT NOT WEIGH MORE THAN THY REFRIGERATOR.

GOD MUST LOVE CALORIES BECAUSE HE MADE SO MANY OF THEM!

LIFE IS FULL OF UPS AND POUNDS.

THE HAIGHT DIET: TO LOSE WEIGHT JUST EAT THE STUFF YOU HATE.

DIETING IS THE PENALTY FOR EXCEEDING THE FEED LIMIT.



Q: WHO KEEPS TRACK OF THE COOKIES WE EAT?
A: THE KITCHEN COUNTER.

And I think this one might become my new signiture..."dieting is NO piece of cake."

Okay, I know goaners...So, come on I know the lot of you can do better or at least this good!

Join me! It will be fun!
Yours in laughter and fun (and weight loss)
Mrs.R.

I'm pinning this up right now! GREAT JOB!!!

This is fun. Put me down for six pounds.

And here's my contribution to the funnies:

I'm on the "Seafood Diet". When I "see food" that's on my plan , I eat it!

I once bought a popular diet book for $14.95. All I lost was $14.95.

OOPS! I mean six pounds! Now, see you'll do eight! Sorry
Six pounds! I just got too excited

Seven pounds it is! LOL!

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation takes place:

First guy: 'You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in our house next weekend.
Second guy: 'That's nothing! I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.'

Third guy: 'Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel her kitchen for her.'

They continue to fish when they realize the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him, 'You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing. What's the deal?'



Fourth guy (married 30+ years): 'I just set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge, and said, 'fishing or sex?'

and she said,

'Wear sunblock.' '


I laughed till I cried! Anyway, put me down for 10 pounds (I need to lose 5 that I gained in the process of switchig diets and 5 more for good measure.)

Hi Tami! Welcome. I got you down for ten! (I have this habit of adding to people's weight goals...but I have you down for ten).
Your joke...too too funny!

Here's mine for the day.

BEANS TALE

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love.

When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on. " So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home.

On her way she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table.

She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone.

The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!

I would love to be part of this
My goal would be to get out of the 300's
I am 305.8 I think now, Last time I tried I couldnt get out,
I would lose and gain, wanta talk frustrating
But I am gonna do it now lol
Ill look for a joke now,
thanks for the above laughs
sandi

Thanks
not sure now,
but if you need anything let me know,
im looking for some jokes
sandi

Mrs R, I llluuuuvvvvvvvvvvv that beans tale!

Oh, I am starting at 270 and want to get to 260 (I was at 265 before Alice left Wonderland.

Strange People Sightings



1. SIGHTING: Hubby and I had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not. Four is larger than two." We haven't used Sears repair since.
_____________________________________________

2. SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by c ars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore." From Kingman , KS
______________________________________________________

3. IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughte r went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef? Yep... From Kansas City !
______________________________________________________

4. SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
_______________________________________________________

5. SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
_______________________________________________________

6. SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker: She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
________________________________________________________

7. SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself, and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.
________________________________________________________

8. SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "Its open!" His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
This was at a dealership in Canton, Mississippi !
_________________________________________

OOOh I love this thread!

Thank you Cartbabe, welcome

Good morning everyone. Great stuff here! I have a goaner a good old fashion knock knock

Knock Knock who's there? Lettuce... Lettuce who? Lettuce in and we'll tell you!

I know. I know. I'll get better.

So Question of the day (week?)...It's now fall. What is your favorite part of fall? And what are you doing to enjoy that favorite part?

Mine is the colors and the light. I live in Oregon so between rain showers we get some great sun... Crispy and bright. This weekend we are suspose to have a break in the rain. So, I'll be out hiking to find the colors and the light and take it all in. Can't wait.
I also like curling up with soup...so I'll be checking out low carb soup recipes on this site and digging in!

So, what is for you? Tell us.
Have a great day
Mrs. R

I sure hope I didn't frighten everyone off with that last silly joke?
Maybe folks are reeling from the KK news, don't know.

I hope folks are busy losing weight....

I'm open to ideas for spreading the word on this challenge.

hi every
how was everyone's day
here is my joke for the day lol thanks for yours
EIGHT SIGNS YOU ARE TOO OLD TO BE TRICK OR TREATING

8. You get winded from knocking on the door.

7. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

6. You ask for high fiber candy only.

5. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance
and fall over.

4. People say, “Great Keith Richards mask!” and you’re not wearing a
mask.

3. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or…” and can’t remember the
rest.

2. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your
hairpiece.

1. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

Good Morning Everyone!
Here's a cat joke to start the weekend off

A tomcat was heard running up and down the
alley for hours. A neighbor called his owner and
asked what was happening. The owner said, "Well,
I had him fixed today, and he's going around
canceling all his engagements."

I'm down two pounds! Yeah for me. One of these days I'll figure out how to get a weight ticker up. I miss it!

"see" you all later. Have a great day
Mrs. R

Happy Saturday!
Here's my Saturday exercise jokes...

You know you've reached your fitness goal when you're strong enough to pick up your exercise equipment and throw it out the window.

I use a bicycle now for short errands. Instead of putting the pedal to the metal, I straddle the saddle.

If God had wanted us to run, instead of a belly button, He'd have given us a Fast-Forward button.

I don't thing jogging is helping me to get in shape. Last night I was huffing and puffing so hard when I got to the Dairy Queen, I could hardly eat my Blizzard.

I don't work out because all the exercise programs start out by saying, "Wear loose-fitting clothes." I don't have any loose-fitting clothes!

Remember, before beginning any exercise program, check with your doctor -- to make sure your heart can take the shock of the price of exercise equipment.

That said...I've been doing 35minute cardio workout for six months! Today marks my six month anniverisary of that workout everyday - 35 minutes! This from a girl who hates to exercise. I'm now looking at upping it to the next level.

I hope everyone is doing well. I'm open to ideas for bumping up the energy on this thread.
Thank you
Mrs.R

Hi I hope everyone had a good weekend.
Thoughts from cats.

THINGS YOU CAN LEARN FROM YOUR CAT
(author unknown)


Make the world your playground.
Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging a sock over it helps.
If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do.
When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up.
Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.
Nap often.
When in trouble, just purr and look cute.
Life is hard, and then you nap.
Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
When in doubt, cop an attitude.
Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them.
Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there.
Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner.
Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".

Hi everyone. Well....this challenge. I'm going to stick with it. Come along with me if you like.

Okay...today I have what researchers in England are calling The World's Funniest Joke. It is the joke that they spend years studying a wide range of folks from all cultures. ... And this joke made the most people laugh. Ready...here is it...

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Have a fun and funny day!
Mrs. R

Never argue with a woman!

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?").

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

Happy Monday, Everyone. I hope all is well with you all.

So, I know this is a weight challenge as well as whatever here. So, if folks would like to "report" in weight successes or stalls or whatever, please do so as well.

Right now I don't know if I'll meet my ten pound goal. But I'm exercising everyday and feeling super today!

I'll leave you all with a joke~ have a great week.

was traveling down the interstate when I had to make a pit stop at a rest stop. The first toilet stall was occupied, so I went into the second one.

I was no sooner seated than I heard a voice from the next stall say, "Hi, how are you doing?"

Well, I am not the type to chat with strangers and especially under those conditions ... and I really don't know quite what possessed me, but I answered, "Not bad."

And the stranger said, "And, what are you up to?"

Talk about your dumb questions! I was really beginning to think this was too weird! So I said, "Well, just like you I am driving South"

Then, I heard the stranger get all upset and say, "Look, I'll call you right back, there is some idiot in the next stall answering all the questions I am asking you. Bye!"

Good Morning/Afternoon everyone!

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then the were off to a movie theater where they ate popcorn and sweets and drank Cola. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"

Have a great day!
Mrs. R.

Okay. Time to break out the Genie jokes!

Hope you enjoy this one!

A Man's Three Wishes
A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie.
The genie says, "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes." The man says "Great! I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want one billion dollars in a Swiss bank account." Poof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand.

He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here." Poof! There is a flash of light and a bright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him.

He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women." Poof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.


Have a great day, everyone!
Mrs. R.

Hi everyone
i am loving your jokes
But i cant seem to find any funny ones
Ill have to look harder
thanks everyone
sandi

Good afternoon!

Chinese Proverbs

Man who run in front of car get tired !
Man who run behind car get exhusted !
Man with one chopstick go hungry!
Man who drive like hell ,bound to get there!

Hey, Sandi...no worries about the jokes. It's good to hear from you.

How are folks doing with weight loss goals? I'm in a bit of a stall. But I feel that it's the shift from Kimkins to Atkins and the extra excerise. I look smaller, clothes are looser. I'm movin' and grovin' so hey...I'm not complaining!

Have a great day!
Mrs. R

Happy Friday, everyone!

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking.

The wife asks: "What are you waiting for?"

The husband replies: "Autumn."


Have a great weekend!
Mrs. R

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him, "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in two seconds flat."


The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.



Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Mrs R,

I am officially at 265 now which is my lowest and where I was at before Alice left Wonderland. I am so happy to be back down to this weight. Now, to get another 5 pounds off by the end of the month...

Hey Tami
I'll go with you on the five pounds by the end of the month as well!
The inches are moving...pounds not so much...but I think I'm eating a bit too much. So....let's shoot for five by the end of the month. That would be a great Treat!
Have a good weekend!
Mrs. R

DIET QUIZ
If you answer "yes" to eight or more of these questions, you may want to consider restricting your future calorie intake:

* Has your neighborhood grocery store ever offered to send for you with a limo?

* After ordering lunch at a fast-food drive-through window, has it ever been delivered to your car on a hand truck?

* Within the last month, have you burned out more than two refrigerator bulbs?

* Do people often decide to follow you up on the next elevator?

* Has your fork ever suddenly come up missing?

* Have you ever broken out in a cold sweat when you realized you were more than a mile from the nearest Taco Bell?

* Is there a restraining order against you from the Association of All-You-Can-Eat Restaurants?

* On a recent Caribbean cruise, did the captain order you to stay in the center of the ship?

* Do your picnics in the country involve renting a U-Haul?

* Does the left side of your car seem to bottom out a lot?

* Does your street always seem to have more potholes than other streets?

2 peanuts were walking down the street...one was a salted!

Good Morning and a happy Monday to everyone. Welcome LadyBug!
Loved the joke.

Well this morning, one of my dear aqua frogs passed away over the weekend. It was sad and freaky. Her sister frog was freaked out, she is now fine and swimming around. She will want to get a new friend today. Hopefully, I'll be able to get another girl.

So, to honor Reilly the great three armed frog (yes, she had three arms)...here's the joke of the day...


A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk.
When the chicken sees that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks,
"Book, book, book, BOOK!"

The librarian complies, putting a couple of books down in front of the chicken.
The chicken quickly grabs them and disappears.

The next day, the librarian is again disturbed by the same chicken, who puts the previous day's pile of books down on the desk and again squawks,
"Book, book, book, BOOK!"

The librarian shakes her head, wondering what the chicken is doing with these books, but eventually finds some more books for the chicken.
The chicken disappears.

The next day, the librarian is once again disturbed by the chicken, who squawks (in a rather irritated fashioon, it seems),
"Book, book, book, BOOK!"

By now, the librarian's curiosity has gotten the better of her, so she gets a pile of books for the chicken, and follows the bird when it leaves the library.

She follows it through the parking lot, down the street for several blocks, and finally into a large park. The chicken disappears into a small grove of trees, and the librarian follows.
On the other side of the trees is a small marsh. The chicken has stopped on the side of the marsh.
The librarian, now really curious, hurries over and sees that there is a small frog next to the chicken, examining each book, one at a time. The librarian comes within earshot just in time to hear the frog saying,
"Read it, read it, read it..."

Rest in Peace, Reilly.
Everyone else have a super great day.
Mrs. R.

I've been remiss in the jokes... Here's bunch of silliness.

Happy Friday, everyone. Have a great weekend.
Chicken jokes!!!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
A: She wanted to lay it on the line.

Q: Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
A: She wanted to stretch her legs.

Q: Why did the Roman chicken cross?
A: She was afraid someone would caesar!

Q: How did the wealthy rubber chicken cross the road?
A: In her Cadillac stretch limo.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum it could actually be done!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: Because it was a double-crosser

A farmer with lots of chickens posted the following sign:
"Free Chickens. Our Coop Runneth Over."


P.S. I have new frog friend for my remaining frog.

oops double post of silliness...so, I edited

Six Classic Affairs



The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted,
They fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside
And rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my
secretary.
We had sex all afternoon."
"You lying bastard!
You've Been playing golf!"



The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about
Having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look

At the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around
Behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "! Not this time!"



The 3rd Affair:

A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a
Startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever
seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to

Be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for
posterity."
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
"I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife,
opening his briefcase.
"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"


The 4th Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the
front door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it
so much I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a
sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two
days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

The 5th Affair:

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."
"One Cent?" the man thought.
He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a
bottle of wine?"
"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied,
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

The 6th Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked Up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister,
your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."



Hope everyone has a great week!

Mrs R, I don't think I am going to make that other 5 pounds. I had some ice cream on Sunday and pizza last night for dinner. Weekends are very hard for me. I do okay during the week but have a hard time at home, especially on the weekends. Not sure why that is though, except maybe it's easier to hold myself accountable when I am seeing people. When I am at home, it's just me and my son and he doesn't care what I eat. Oh, I almost forgot the cake that my grandmother sent to me on Saturday! We have not been able to convince her that none of us NEED her cakes and cookies. Maybe I should get her a low carb dessert cookbook for Christmas, so even if she is making us stuff it will be 'legal.'

Oh, Tami. I so hear you! My scale is not moving. I've been doing a little bit of carb creep here and there. I have to set my mind that the sugar is a poison for me. I keep exercising and I do well in the week, come weekend...I let it creep.
The next thing I'm saying, I say for me, but you can listen if you like... Dr. Atkins famous words...One taste is the kiss of death.
And you know my husband is supportive of me and my weight loss efforts, but if I have some carb, he doesn't say anything. So, in my mind I have to act like he will. It's stops me from completely going there.
So, what can I do to support you? Let me know.
This getting back on track...is a bit tough, but we can do it!
We are worth it!!!
Great joke, as always!
Mrs. R

Okay. The Mini Snickers got to me. Confession is good for the soul.
It didn't even taste that good! I mindlessly ate it! Damn! As I've seen Jimmy say.. "Sugar is Rat Poison" It truely is. I must and want to remember that.

So, here's some funny Halloween silliness! Wishing everyone Happy Halloween! And hopefully, it's fun and low carb.

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite...

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite...

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries...

Forget Rednecks ....here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say
about Idahoans... (and he is soooooooo right!)

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
you live in Idaho.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they
don't work there, you live in Idaho.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in
Idaho.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number, you live in Idaho.

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Salt Lake City for
the weekend, you live in Idaho.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Idaho.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once,
you live in Idaho.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and
back again, you live in Idaho.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard without flinching, you live in Idaho.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but
leave both unlocked, you live in Idaho.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use
them, you live in Idaho.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
snowsuit, you live in Idaho.

If the speed limiton the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80
and everybody is passing you, you live in Idaho.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
filled with snow, you live in Idaho.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter
and road construction, you live in Idaho.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you
live in Idaho.

If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Idaho.

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all
your Idaho friends & others, you live in Idaho