Hello everyone,
I'm not quite a refugee from 'there' yet, I don't visit very often but I have been witness to the implosion happening and figured I'd find a new home before some shrapnel started flying.

I never posted much there, so I'm sure no one will recognize me here, if anyones interested I'm happy to tell ya .

I had to come find Becky and Deni and Christin, it was their posts that kept me focused and kept me from running headlong back into my old bulimic habits from my teenage years. I recognized the signs in so many people and was dumbfounded by some of what I was beginning to feel myself.

Then I went 12 days without a bm, finally able to get past that with a heavy laxative, then nothing again for a another 7 days but this time the laxative did nothing, no matter how many I took for however any days, scared me right to death, I knew my body was screaming for more vegies and more fat so things could work right. I took a step back and sat with myself for a few days before stepping back in to look for the sources of my inspiration. I think I found you

I am slowly feeling better, more energy again, my skin is not burning dry today and I believe things are rumbling along in my gut again. Next step is to will myself back on to the scale, but only once a week not daily.

Ok TMI I'm sure

Blessings and Light
Kathy

Welcome to my forum, Kathy! I'm so happy to have you and look forward to getting to know you even better. We're here for you, so don't hesitate to ask for help.

Thanks Jimmy!
Thank you for putting this forum together. I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone much better and getting back on track health wise, letting a diet i KNOW works for me from experience work and enjoying friendships I had started to build before things began to spiral.

Blessings and Light
Kathy

It's a journey to better health that I'm happy to walk side-by-side with you on. Take care!

Hi Kathy I love the title of your journal! Welcome...I look forward to seeing you around the forum

Thanks Vicki
I know your name from 'over there', glad to hook up with you here!

Hey Kathy,

Welcome! I've been here for about 2 weeks now. You will like it, everyone is friendly and helpful. I've been doing Atkins for about the past 1 1/2 weeks and feel so much better. Low carb was not meant to be low fat and no veg. and that's why we all got "stopped up." Now that I am doing Atkins, I'm a regular girl again and I am losing weight.

Best of luck with whatever diet you decide!

Carol

Hi Carol,
Thanks for the words of encouragement. Boy I tell ya "stopped" was the word for it. Things are moving along nicely now, I'm reading DANDR right now, I've not read the good Dr. in ages, so I figured it was time to get re-aquainted with the way things are meant to be.

Healthwise, I am happy to report I am feeling better, things are moving along again for the most part. I still have issues with being afraid of my food but I have to attribute that to my old ED that I had beaten years ago just resurfacing through KK. My hair still seems to be thinning but that has slowed down. The chest pains have eased up as well. I'll be discussing with my doctor next week what tests to be run to make sure I haven't done lasting damage to my body.

Hi Kathy! Welcome!!

So glad to see you here! I'm glad things are improving for you, and you're right! You're body was definitely talking to you. I'm so glad you listened Keep up the great work... and I'm looking forward to following your journey too!

Christin

Hi Christin!
Thank you for the warm welcome.
You know I almost didn't listen to my body, I stopped trusting it, started feeling like it was my enemy, not a good place to be. Thank goodness for my scare actually, or I might have kept sliding back into some really dangerous old habits.

I feel like I have a ways to go with re-recovering from my ED all over again. I'm finding I still have the tools in me though.

Blessings and Light.

I have been off of Kimkins for about a month now. Two weeks ago I was finally able to face the scale and was shocked to see I had still lost a good amount of weight since I had left California on August 30th. I've not been able to face the scale again till today.

I'm down 4lbs from two weeks ago. Part of me is tickled to still be losing weight and yet part of me is horribly upset and having thoughts about going back to K/E just for a few days, just long enough to drop a few more pounds. Intellectually I know that weight would be more muscle and lean tissue than actual fat loss, but that knowledge sometimes seems so inconsequential. I know my metabolism is still recovering, perhaps I am building muscle back up thats why its only 4lbs, perhaps the fat is still coming off well. I try to listen to how my clothes are fitting and not that voice in my head.

I am a bulimic, I have been since I was 11 years old and heard my mother moo at me behind my back after I filled up a second plate at a holiday dinner. KK really triggered a lot of my old issues with food. Of course I didn't see it, you never do, because thats what feels right and more in control and more natural.

4lbs in two weeks, my first thoughts are "what do I cut out to make it move faster" "what did those few shreds of carrots in my dinner salad do to me" "maybe I really am eating to much fat". The fight with that voice is really tough, I hope I win it.

My hair is still falling out, not in the large clumps that it was a month ago, but its still disheartening to have to pick lil balls of my hair off my body in the shower, peel it out of my fingers after washing my hair, pull it out of the towel as I dry off. I sure hope that eases up soon.

Hello!!! I just loved the title of your journal and had to stop by and see what you had to say. I really hope you do not succumb to another ED. I have never had one, but feel like it now, since leaving that "other" site. MANY people are feeling the same way as you. Maybe do it for just a little longer to get a few more pounds off. How can we possibly think that way? Can we say ED?

I don't post often, but will stop by to check on you every now and then. I don't have a journal and am not likely to start one. Much too lazy.

Take care and keep losing. (in a healthy way)

Hugs and Kisses,

LA LINDA

Hi LA Linda,
Thank you so much for commenting, and the words of encouragement and support.

Yes I fight those thoughts constantly right now, its sometimes a moment to moment, meal to meal battle isn't it?

Hugs and blessings

Hello my name is Kathy and I am a chocoholic!!!

WOW I have to declare here and now that I can only make chocolate fluff ONCE in a while...now to figure out what a while is LOL..

I have absolutely no portion control when it comes to this stuff, I'm positive I'm getting a days worth of carbs in that bowl of fluff...its just crazy.

I make mine with cream cheese which is where my carbs are coming in i'm sure...

I can't even stop when I know the next bite is going to make my tummy hurt all night..yeah definately a once in a blue moon thing for me..

That is all.