If you remember me, you'll recognize me as ally_marie from over there, too. I had to leave the nutso environment at Kimkins, and the Diaz Dynasty. I left angrily, and with many postings calling her a fraud. I won't support a criminal, end of story.
But first, a confession, and a request for your forgiveness:
I was one of the ones doing some name calling over at Kimkins. I refered to LCF as "haters" and I didn't like what I was hearing about you, Jimmy. It was a case of stupidity, first and foremost, but more than that - I just couldn't deal with knowing I'd been decieved by Heidi. I've had a rough year, and the most pressing thing is the recent paralysis of my brother, whom I love and adore. He's had a hard time, and it's been hell - sheer hell - watching him claw his way back to life. On top of that, I've experienced a terrible year, healthwise....so out of desperation I fought tooth and nail in Heidi's honor. It wasn't about her; it was about me. What more I could take, and what I felt I couldn't.
I'm deeply ashamed. It wasn't until I really decided to open my eyes and look around, that I began to listen to my own heart rumblings, and realized what was truly happening.
- I was one of the ones nearly passing out on her plan
- I was one of the ones asking her direct questions about my symptoms and not getting answers
- I was one of the ones unable to complete a simple task, like writing a check, because I was so malnourished, I couldn't think
- I was one of the ones losing weight rapidly, and felt like I was betraying Heidi whenever I stopped to ask, "why do I feel like this?"
It was when my life got uber crazy, and I had to drop out of posting at Kimkins.com, did I really, really start to listen to myself. Then, I began to recieve emails saying my mentors - the very people I relied upon to *survive* Kimkins - were being banned or leaving the site on their accord. Becky, my dear Deni, who invited me here, Christin, Amy....others.
Today, I sat down and paid attention to the emails. I read the blogs. I compared that information, to my own experiences, and I realized the truth.
I am no longer a follower of Kimkins.
As far as Heidi is concerned, I was made aware of the fact that she was either accused, or convicted, of identity theft. One of the things I have been helping my brother with since his accident is recovering his identity, which was stolen by someone in CA. Can you even begin to know how I feel, now knowing that Heidi Diaz is involved with IT? My poor brother could not even get his disability paperwork filled out in decent time, due to his identity being stolen and used all over California. People like Heidi ....well, I won't even waste my valued breathing air discussing it. She is dead to me, plain and simple. I will do whatever I can to help efforts to see her in prison. Her and her kind should be punished, which is oversimplifying the statement by a landside.
Regardless, my current health issues have been a real thorn in my otherwise healthy life. I am ready to begin eating healthy as soon as I get home Friday from having surgery to reconstruct my hip. I had every intention of returning to Kimkins. Now, I am going back to Atkins, which has always agreed with me just fine. It's no longer a race for me - I just want to make progress. Lose steadily, perhaps slowly, but lose. Not pass out. Not forget how to spell my own name. Not feel sick. Not live in "SNATT" any longer. Just...get healthy. Regain my health and my confidence.
I'm so grateful for Deni for sending me the link to this community! Part of my sheer and utter upset tonight was knowing where to go, what to do now that the Kimkins myth is shattered.
So I'm here - and I've learned my lessons. I will be gone this week, but when I return, I look forward to meeting you all, sharing and supporting one another. Jimmy, I will be familiarizing myself with your blog, which I've already bookmarked. Thank you for providing a place for people to come together, especially for me to find after a mess like Kimkins.
ally
