I'd been giving some thought to this subject, so I wrote a little article and have just posted it to my Life Without Donuts Blog. I wanted to post a copy of it here for everyone to read as well. Yes, it's a little long, but hopefully light enough reading to breeze through it pretty fast. I hope you enjoy it, as I believe we can all benefit from at least some of these thoughts and ideas.

etiquette -- noun. The rules governing socially acceptable behavior.

What, pray tell, is Diet Etiquette? I like to say it is "the rules governing socially acceptable behavior, in spite of the fact you are dieting." It is a subject I've heard very little discussion or writing about, so I decided I would give it a shot here at Life Without Donuts.

Ever been to a dinner or luncheon where someone who is dieting has the woe-is-me attitude because there is nothing there they can eat, therefore they feel compelled to infect everyone else with their doom, gloom and despair? Or, they are constantly going over their list of taboo foods, like anyone else at the table really gives a rip about their self-inflicted brand of agony and misery? And then there is the know-it-all-diet-expert, who attempts to impose their perfect diet upon everyone else at the table, just because they read Dr. Somebody's book and suddenly begin to speak as if they had stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night. If you've never had the tortuous pleasure of enjoying an extended evening of mirth and joy with one of these diet-dictocrats...then you, my friend, are most certainly an alien from another planet!

I love the low-carb lifestyle. As far as I'm concerned it is the easiest, healthiest, most effective nutritional approach to permanent weight loss on the planet today. Low-carb just works for me! But let's face it...it may not work for EVERYONE! And even IF it did work for everyone...EVERYONE doesn't necessarily want to hear about it! That's where 'Diet Etiquette' comes into play. We must use diet etiquette in social settings if we want to keep our present friends and ever hope to make new friends. This is not an exhaustive list by an means, but here are a few of my own home-brewed tips that should keep us civil and hospitable. and possibly even get us invited back again.


How To Do Low-Carb Without Becoming a Social Outcast


1. I'm Hearing Voices, and I Think It's My Food! -- No matter what the occasion for getting people together, you can bet food is nearly always going to be a big part of the event. However, when you think about it, it's not really about celebrating the food...it's about celebrating friends and family. So don't make such a big deal out of the food if the future, because when you do, the people will make a big deal out of you. Whining and complaining about the food, for any reason, will not only draw attention to you, it will automatically get you labeled a party-pooper, a kill-joy, a fanatic or even worse. Focus on having fun with your friends and family and I guarantee you'll have tons more fun than if you focus on the food alone.

Remember, having our focus on food is what caused us to gain our excess pounds to begin with. Just think about all the times you were hard pressed to attentively listen to someone's conversation with you simply because you could not break your focus and fascination with the food long enough to really and truly hear what they were saying to you. Food cannot be the centerpiece of any serious, lasting relationship, be it friends, family or even co-workers.

It's amazing what we can discover about others, as well as the heights a relationship can reach when we learn to look straight into the eyes of the person we are talking to instead of listening to the food that is talking to us. And you thought low-carb was only a weight loss diet? Hardly! Low-carb done right will also improve your relationships and social life.

2. Would You Like Cheese With That Whine? -- Whining is not allowed while doing low-carb! Even more important than not over-eating carbs, is the number one rule of low-carb...NO Whining! Now I know you probably won't find it written in any of the expert's books, but it should be, because every one of us have good reason to be excited about improving our health with the safest, healthiest way of eating on the planet. Why in the world would we be whining about eating healthy, tasteful, nutrient dense, real foods while the world around us is eating tasteless, artificial, non-nutrient, food-like-substances?

Whine about how deprived you are on low-carb and you'll not only send a confusing message to your friends and family, you'll be sending subliminal messages to your own brain that are a sure setup for failure. Face it, not everyone believes you can do it anyway. So don't give them any ammo to sabotage you with. It's kind of like shooting yourself in the foot. It is critical to your success to keep a positive, can-do attitude at all times!

More importantly, no one likes a whiner! And, besides, you are giving low-carb a bad name when you whine. And even if they're not seving low-carb foods at the event you are attending, don't make a big deal out of it. I personally hate it when I hear people slamming the food because "there's nothing here I can eat." How tacky is that? When you slam the food, you slam your friends and family that prepared it with love. They can't read your mind...they don't know your 'list of foods'...they probably don't even know your dieting, for crying out loud!. And even if they did know you were low-carbing, they're not required to cater to you and your 'special needs.' Now I don't mean to bust your bubble [really, I do], but just because you are low-carbing doesn't mean the axis of the world runs through your head and everything revolves around YOU!

Successful low-carbing requires planning ahead. If you think there is even a remote chance there will be little to no low-carb foods, then simply eat something before you go. At the meal, just get out a little bit of the best choices in the food being served, take a few bites, mince and mix it around the plate [if you don't have a milk carton to put it in], brag about the great taste and no one will ever know any different. Most folks are more interested in what's on their plate than what's on yours! After all, a few bites of carb-age at a social event ain't gonna' change the grand scheme of things. Eat a bite or two, laugh, love and live. Get back on plan as soon as you walk out the door. After all, you're in this thing for a lifetime...not an evening!

3. This Is Low-Carb? Are You Serious? -- When attending a social function that includes a meal, snack, etc., don't ever leave home without one or more of your award winning low-carb favorites! If you're new to low-carb, then do yourself and everyone around you a big favor and re-educate yourself by learning the art of low-carb cooking, which is really fun and easy. The recipes are easy and readily available, the ingredients are real foods available at almost every supermarket, and they are guaranteed to be tastier and more filling than anything at the party. As far as I'm concerned, one of the web's premier resources for excellent low-carb recipes is Linda's Low-Carb Menus & Recipes. There are also a ton of excellent low-carb cook books available. Invest in a few and you will be one happy and successful low-carb camper.

By taking your own low-carb dishes you're guaranteed to stay on plan, but with the added benefit of wowing others with the absolutely fantastic taste of real low-carb foods. Cook it and they will come! Remember the old adage, "you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar?" Serving your low-carb taste treats is one of the most effective ways of getting others motivated to change to the healthy low-carb lifestyle.

4. Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Who Ya' Gonna' Call? -- Get ready for a big let down. Just owning a copy of DANDR, Protein Power or other Low-Carb plan does NOT make you 'The Diet Police.' I know that's a big disappointment, but you'll get over it.

I, for one, always hated it when folks would come up to me [before I came to my low-carb senses] and point out how all the foods on my plate were not only unhealthy, but they were what was making me fat. Talking about making you want to slap somebody naked and hide their clothes! I know it's not health food and I know I'm fat but I don't need some diet-geek-police reinforcing it, especially not in front of every one else. In addition to being tacky, it shows a total lack of true compassion and caring. Criticism and condemnation never, never, never motivates folks to change for the better...it only serves to drive them farther away.

And you're not everybody's knight in shining armor when it comes to sharing the healthy low-carb message. And keep in mind, as painful as it may be, that not everyone wants to change! Some folks are not ready to change and others have no desire to ever change. Just remember, "you can't change what you can tolerate!" Let me say that again, "you can't change what you can tolerate!"

The best approach is to serve as a shining example to others that losing weight the low-carb way is not only possible, it is a true pleasure to eat healthy, tasteful, nutrient dense, real foods. Some folks are waiting to see whether you experience a significant weight loss and whether it is just a fad diet or a diet you can live with for a lifetime. Give 'em the proof! Live life to the fullest and show them that low-carb not only works to lose weight...it also improves your attitude and outlook on life. If your really happy about low-carb success...let it show!

5. I Can't Believe No One Noticed! -- Don't get your drawers in a wad if no one notices your weight loss right away. Many of us have a considerable number of pounds to lose, so it may take a significant number of pounds gone before folks start noticing. And to complicate matters, some of us are also still wearing clothes that are way too big for us because we are 'in-between-sizes' or don't have smaller sizes yet. The bigger clothes 'cover up' much of our weight loss. Don't get all bent out of shape if you don't immediately start getting compliments. It took you a while to get in that shape and it will take you a while to get out of it! So, no bellyaching.

Vanity of vanities is to announce to everyone that you are on a diet! Nobody likes a horn tooter! Yuck, yuck, yuck! Tacky ain't the word! You know you are successful, so that's what's really important. Just work harder and the compliments will come! And you will be so much more appreciative of them.

6. The Terrible Three...Naysayers, Pushers and Enablers! - You may already have a vision in your brain of what thin looks like and another vision of you reaching thin by a certain date. Goals, visions and dreams are a good thing to have. If you haven't yet set any goals, I encourage you to do so as soon as possible. But let me share a little secret with you...not everybody is going to be happy and excited about your dreams, goals and visions. Some resent your weight loss, some don't believe you can do it and some just flat out hope you can't do it. So don't get all down in the mouth when you share your weight loss dreams, goals and visions with someone and they laugh at you. Take it with a grain of salt, but just don't allow it to derail you. Naysayers have no power over you unless you allow them to!

Then there are the Food Pushers who insist you try at least a bite of every food on the table, whether you like it or not. Many are well meaning folks, but you are going to have to resist their pressure, shame and belittlement tactics. Just a "no thank you" is all that is necessary for the gentle food pushers. But occasionally you'll run across a persistent one who requires a sterner, more resistant rebuttal. It's your life, so don't allow others to ruin it. Don't feel pressured to eat something you don't want to eat to start with. You can always use humor to deal with it or if worse comes to worse, I personally wouldn't be opposed to lowering myself to sarcasm or even....well, we won't go there! You get the idea though.

What about those sweet folks in your life who know you're dieting, but keep bringing you carb-age that is sure to derail you if they keep shoving it in front of your face. They're the ones we call 'Enablers.' They enable you to stay fat...but only if you allow them to. Be polite and civil, then just resist, resist, resist! Tell 'em, "that just doesn't work for me," tell 'em anything you need to...just tell 'em! I know these people mean well, but these are the most dangerous of the Terrible Three so far as I'm concerned. Proceed with caution, but proceed with resolve! Resolve to see yourself through to thin! You will someday celebrate your victory.

7. And Above All, Be Sweet, Be Positive, Be Thin! -- I know you've already kicked the sugar habit, so that's not what I'm talking about. Be nice to others and be nice to yourself. Regardless of what Eeyore says, nice guys, and gals, do indeed win. Nice improves your attitude. Nice makes others like you. You can never go wrong being nice to others. Even when folks say ugly things about your size, your diet or your dog, it's not worth getting all bent out of shape over. Don't have a bad day because of someone else's ignorance, insensitivity or insults. You alone are in control of what kind of day you have, so don't allow someone else to derail your road map to thin by something stupid they said or did.

Positively...have a positive attitude! You are your best cheerleader, so you are responsible for cheering yourself on to success. Keep your goals in front of you at all times. Positive attitudes are contagious, so wear your positive attitude proudly and infect as many people as you can. Others are going to see how positive you are about your new healthy lifestyle and want to know how to be a part of it.

Be thin! That's your goal after all. Change your life and do it now. Life's too short to put better health on hold. Put your past behind you, there's nothing you can do to change it. Today is all you have to work with, so make the best of it. Maybe you're not thin or to goal yet, but you need to start seeing yourself as thin. That's right, you need to develop your 'thin' mental image and look at it often. Think about it, make plans how you're going to get there...then do it!

Always take the high road. Always do what's right. Always treat others like you would want to be treated. Always think thin. Always be thankful.

Conclusion -- Well, there you have it. Diet Etiquette according to the Former Donut Junkie. It's not an all inclusive work, so feel free to add your own ideas as you live life to the fullest. I'm just learning, but these were a few ideas I had about how to low-carb and co-exist with others in a civil and happy way. Happy Low-Carbing!

There Really is Life After Donuts!

PP4Life that's an excellent article!

Too cute Ron, and very true. Loved the article!

That's the Ron I know! Great insights, my friend! GREAT NEW NAME, TOO!!!!

Ron,

Great article . . . . very well said. Thank you for posting it here for us to read.

P.S. I also drop in and read your blog from time to time . . . . very interesting and great info!

Robin

Wow ROn
oh so true
I had to laugh at the Whinne with cheese bit, I say that to my kids all the time lol
Yes, this is a keeper
thanks
sandi

Ron, Loved the post. It was humorous and educational all at the same time.
have a great weekend.

Ron, that was a great post, and a timely reminder as we start gearing up for all the carb laden holiday and holiday parties coming up.

Very entertaining read, you have a gift, for sure.

They say the low carb craze is dead, yet our local Krispy Kreme just closed their doors for good. And good riddance...love your avi!!

I keep blogging about Krispy Kreme being in financial trouble. Coincidence or low-carb? YOU DECIDE:

http://livinlavidalocarb.blogspot.com/2007...iet-krispy.html

This is a great post !!! Over the past two years, I have tried hard to follow this kind of advice. Since my focus IS now off of food, I find that I can enjoy the focus on being with my friends and family !