Today I am riding with a part-timer, who I have not seen for probably a year (my regular partner is on AL). Well, I worked a time swap for a buddy last night, and I am on regular shift today, so I am tired, and when I get tired, I am usually easily irritated.

Back to point. The minute I walked in, she started making a big deal about my weightloss. Yes, a little flattering, but it also seemed a little catty in a "I would have never thought you could do that" kind of way. She has brought up surgery a few times, and seems to think I could have never lost so much without it

Now that she has moved on a bit, she keeps referencing the fact that she has lost 30 lbs. with Body for Life, and keeps trying to give me advice. She wanted to meet some other people for breakfast, and I was game. The entire time, I had to endure people telling me about their ability to "maintain" losses of 10-30 lbs. and giving me unsolicited advice.

Maybe I am just being cocky or pissy, but I just kept thinking to myself. I have kept off 80 lbs. for over 2 years. What makes you think you have the right to give ME diet/maintenace advice? Seems like the closer I get to goal, this more this is coming up, or maybe I am just paying more attention now.

Anyone else have that "whatever" feeling when people with lower losses try to give advice?

Also, in light of recent comments, I would like to mention that this is not directed to anyone on this board, it is merely a hot topic for me right now, and keeps coming up. I do believe there is a wealth of knowledge here, and most all of the advice is warranted, not like the people I was with today, telling me what I NEED to do without even taking time to ask what I am already doing.

Maybe I just need to go to bed

EDIT EDIT EDIT - I am sorry, I need sleep. When I re-read my post, I realized it came out wrong. I think there is validity from people who are in maintenance. I was trying to reference people who lost weight and are in maintenance on one plan thinking they are suddenly experts on all weightloss plans. The PT person I am riding with, lost 30 lbs. on BFL, and now thinks she can teach me something about LC, well, he and her friends, who by the way could have all easily fallen into the "overweight" category, and were spouting of about their suceeses in maintining 10-20-30 lb. losses as if it has been 100-200-300. Telling me about the benefits of potatoes, and why whatever plan they were following (WW, BFL, and slim in 6, and advice from a personal trainer), was really the best way to go so I would no longer have to "deprive" myself.

I'm not sure what to say because it's been my experience that most of the people who inspired me to lose weight, when I saw their dramatic weight losses, have since gained theirs back and gone back to their old eating habits. It really saddens me especially since they are family members.

My best advice is to ignore them. I'm sure others will come up with some good stratagies but this seems to be pretty common for all of us "losers". After maintaining a 75 pound weight loss for 2 years I STILL hear comments from people who have lost weight on other programs AND from all the continuing to be fat people, that my way of eating is not sustainable, not healthy, will cause cancer and the best one of all "as soon as you go back to eating normal you will gain it all back". As they all struggle with high cholestoral, diabetes and sore joints, I am full of energy and have perfect blood levels. Hmmmm..... who has the right eating plan? So, I just smile and continue to preach when asked about the low carb life style - enjoying my steak and livin' the good life. Hope this gives you a few calming vibes to hold you over :-)

Simon, I ran into that a bit last time I reached goal. I just smiled and said, "I'm glad that worked so well for you. What I'm doing is working wonderfully for me too." Then I change the subject. I simply refuse to talk about it after that. Granted, I didn't maintain well after a while and I'm back having to lose again, but I knew what I needed to do. I just didn't do it.

I have only recently been experiencing this. It seems like once people realized I was losing weight, then they all started spouting off about their experiences, and wanting me to change what I was doing. It just doesn't make sense. If I am doing something that is obviously working very well, then why on earth would I want to change. And for these people to think that telling me they were able to lose 10 & 20 lbs. on the plans would suddenly make me say "you're right, I was doing it all wrong!" If I add all of my losses, they total more than 100 lbs. is there really a comparison? I just don't get it. When I was fat, I had ONE person tell me about a good weightloss plan. ONE. Now that I have lost a significant amount of weight everyone suddenly wants to give me advice. Crazy.

You know I'm not ANYWHERE near goal, but I've lost over 90lbs and I was talking to a woman in the grocery store and she started to tell me about "THE PLAN" that I needed to go on. Right when I just told her how we LOVE our WOE and that we aren't planning to change and will eat this way whether we lose weight or not and how I feel it's the healthiest diet around. And she STILLLLLLL wanted to tell me about how I "eat whatever I want" BUT "just in small quantities". And I said "Sugar and starches are like poisen to me and she shut up"! LOL

I've noticed the opposite effect - maintenance means I'm now classed as a "thin person" and therefore I obviously know nothing about being overweight or about weight loss, and have never had any problems with my weight. I even had a complete stranger in a clothes shop "accuse" me of being one of those people who can eat whatever they like and never gain an ounce! Just because she saw overheard the the shop assistant offering to get me a smaller size in whatever I was trying on. It couldn't possibly have been hard work that got me and kept me here .

For a while after I lost nearly 200 pounds on the Atkins diet, I had people lecturing me about how I lost it "the wrong way" and that I was killing myself eating this way. Nevermind I was KILLING MYSELF eating a high-carb diet that led me to 410 pounds to begin with! The longer I've kept the weight off, the more convinced people are that this is indeed a lifestyle change worth a closer look. Slowly, we're changing their minds by our example.

I hear you on the doctor thing, Susan. They don't wanna touch obesity with a ten-foot pole because they fear patient backlash like this doctor got. There's even debate about what to call it anymore because of the risk of lawsuits. Sheeez!

I posted the following in my journal but thought I would share it here:

I had a friend tell me over and over again (when I was doing Atkins the first time) that in order to lose weight a person had to be hungry. (SHATT - Semi Hungry All The Time???? ). We didn't agree . . . . .

Once I reach goal I am going to create a card with Slim Fast, carrots, and turkey, with "Your Diet" written underneath it on one side. On the other side I am going to put bacon and eggs, rib eye and veggies, with the words "My WOE" - and then across the bottom I am going to write "Any Questions?!" She is still drinking Slim Fast and carrots, hating every minute of it, losing the same 20 lbs over and over.

Robin

I'm NEVER hungry because I eat every 2-3 hours. Can't do that on low-fat, low-calorie, portion control STARVATION diets. I may have to use that, too, Robin!

Yep, there are people who are well[intentioned and others that are just full of themselves and think they have all the answers. I like Sparky's Girl's approach. I know it's frustrating, but those kind of people are out there and you just have to deal with it.

A while back, I had a person at work ask me how I'd lost. He had lost some weight and was maintaining. He told me I didn't want to stay on LC forever and said to come talk to him when I got down where I want to be. I like the guy and know he is just well intentioned, so I just blew it off. I have to work with him on things from time-to-time and want to maintain cordial relations. I don't plan to ask for advice. If he, or anyone else brings it up, I'll just say, "this is working for me...I like this WOE and have made it a permanent lifestyle...If something else works for you, great, but I'm sticking to what works for me for life."

Yes, I tend to be the type to say good for you, but I will stick to what I know. Still, it is one of my hot buttons, and really irritates me. I am sure they are well intentioned, and maybe it is just a personality thing, but I have a hard time listening to someone who "maintained" a 10 lb. loss, and feels like they need to present themself an a 360 diet guru I am much more impressed by someone who has maintained a more significant loss, and is an expert in one field Which I guess is why I am drawn here

Is it possible that these people are just "enthusiastic"?

When I discovered how wonderful Atkins was, I bored my friends silly... then I remembered there were other topics of conversation... and stopped boring them with my latest discovery.

And remember, conversation needs two people, so if they talk and you don't, then they're just talking to themselves.

Yeah, I agree sjm! Unless people ASK ME or bring up the conversation, I very rarely talk about "my" diet with them. It's not that I'm ashamed of it, but I agree people will be ready when they're ready. And they know where to find me.

We were having dinner tonight and one of my friends has lost 80 lbs. this year on Weight Watchers. We were all talking about food. I was eating my N.Y. Strip (fat and all, I love the fat even though it grosses a lot of people out) and brocolli dipped in melted butter. Everyone kept going on and on about clogging your arteries and all of that (not directed at me) as a general discussion. I bit my tongue to save face and kept my mouth shut out of respect tfor my friend who has worked so hard and done so well, but I just wanted to yell "IT'S NOT ABOUT THE FAT, IT'S THE SUGAR". I was polite, and was unable fo finish my meal because I was genuinely full, and they we're licking their plates and still hungry. I LOVE LOW CARB!

I agree Jimmy - they ask me. The one woman only said something to me because the security guard at the grocery store commented on how healthy all my food looked compared to most people walking through. I guess she felt she had to "share" how to lose weight with me, even after I said I had lost almost 90lbs eating this way.

It's best to just smile and live your life rather than engage in these conversations given the circumstances with your friend on Weight Watchers. It will be interesting to see if that weight loss can be sustained by this time next year. WE SHALL SEE.

I pray for her that it will, because this is the second time she's lost that 80 lbs. She never tried to force WW on me and says everyone is different but she just needs to have the carbs. She is so hungry right now (not good) because WW rewards you for your efforts by giving you less to eat.

The sad part about it is, I think so many people have misconceptions about what the "low carb lifestyle" really is. It's so misunderstood. She is very concerned about maintenance. If she starts to backslide then I will try to help her in a quiet gentle babysteps sort of way.

If she's hungry now, then she may be in trouble soon. When I lost 170 pounds in 1999 on a VERY low-fat diet, the thing that did me in and had me gain it all back within four months was the CONSTANT hunger pangs. They were abhorrent and I couldn't take it anymore. Nobody should have to live that way. If you're hungry, then EAT! But keep it high-fat and low-carb so you'll be healthy. This isn't rocket science.